


Freesia Black and the Pain We Call Life

by bornagain



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Awkward Romance, F/F, F/M, Forbidden Love, Gen, Idiots in Love, Multiple Relationships, Original Character(s), POV Multiple, Rape Recovery, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-23
Packaged: 2021-03-24 01:33:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 9
Words: 11,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30064614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bornagain/pseuds/bornagain
Summary: This is the story of Freesia Black. She is the daughter of once well-known Sirius Black, who has sadly passed away. Freesia is attending The Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and she is starting her 6th year at the school when our story begins.Through a series of rather unfortunate events she finds comfort in the people closest to her and maybe even in those she didn't keep that close.A/N: The main love interest is not revealed for a while. This story is told in POV's and it has a lot of mature content (rape, sex scenes, self-harm etc.).
Kudos: 2





	1. Back to school

*Freesia’s POV:*

I arrived at platform 9 and 3/4 at half past ten in the morning. It was surprisingly cold already and I felt shivers going down my spine. The wind was cold on my bare legs and I tightened my open jacket around my body. 

“Looking fine Miss Black!” Someone shouted. 

I turned on my heels to face the voice. It was Draco Malfoy. I scoffed, but smirked at him. 

“You too babe.” I snapped back and watched his cheeks turn red like a rose. 

I laughed. We had been flirting back and forth all of past year, but that wasn’t as special for me as it was for him. I winked at him and got up on the train, scanning for an empty compartment. 

A few Gryffindor boys with orange hair wolfishly whistled at me walking past their compartment. The Weasley twins, I stopped and gave them a twirl, lifting my skirt just a little. I smirked at them as I walked away.

After walking the length of the train, seeing only compartments full of laughing students I gave up. I peeked into the dark compartment at the front of the train. I saw my Defence Against the Dark Arts professor sitting in the corner, reading a book.

I slightly slid the door open,

“Professor Lockhart? May I sit here?” I asked sweetly. 

He seemed eager, nodding at me with a wide smile across his face. The door clanked as I slid into the compartment, sitting down opposite from him. 

“Had a good break, did you Miss Black?” He smiled at me as I shuffled to a comfortable position.

“Yea, what a hoot.” I answered sarcastically. 

Lockhart laughed. I glared at him, forcing a slight smile. 

“I was actually looking forward to taking a small nap, so you can go back to your book-“ I got a glimpse of the book cover, he was on it. Of course. “-don’t let me bother you.” I continued. 

“Of course miss Black, don’t you worry! Have a good nap!” He smirked at me and turned his gaze back to the book. 

I shuffled so that I was laying on my side my feet curled up on the long bench. I closed my eyes and started to doze off.

*Lockhart’s POV:*

I watched as she moved onto her side, closing her eyes. Her dress was sliding up on her tanned, soft thighs and it wasn’t covering much anymore. 

I returned my gaze to my book. 'She was a student', I told myself. Tracing my gaze back to her beautiful body. She looked so vulnerable. Just this once, I told myself and stood up. 

I traced my fingers softly up her thigh, lifting the skirt with my smooth stroke. She wiggled a little as I lifted my fingers to grab my wand, muffling “Silencio.” while aiming at her.

I locked the door and slid down my pants, moving closer to her almost bare lower body. I grabbed her thighs and dragged her my way, her knees hitting the floor with a loud thud. 

*Freesia’s POV:*

I felt a sharp pain in my knees, a whine escaped my lips but I couldn’t hear it. What was happening? I felt frozen. Then I felt someone grab my ass. I tried to scream. He forced himself onto me and pushed inside of me. I couldn’t move. I was trying to scream from the top of my lungs. No one came to my aid. I cried, unable to do anything. After a while I fell unconscious.

“Excuse me Miss?”

I jumped at the sound of a man’s voice. I turned to look, it was Professor Snape. 

“Why are you on the floor Miss Black?” He said in his husky voice. Staring at me blankly.

I climbed to my knees, everything was hurting and my latest memory flashed in my mind. I shivered.

“Oh, I was just taking a nap and I guess I fell. Sorry professor.” I tried to laugh it off as I stood up. I looked outside, we had arrived at Hogwarts. 

“You’re gonna be late from the ceremony.” Snape said, looking down at me. 

I looked him into his eyes, mouthed 'sorry' and left the compartment, trailing his steps. The train was already empty and nobody was standing outside either. 'Fuck this', I thought to myself, speeding to the last carriage that was still waiting on us. 

“I have to say I’m ashamed that one of my students would be so irresponsible.” The husky voice sent shivers down my spine as I thought about what happened before. 'Did it even happen or was it just a nightmare?'

I didn’t say anything and I looked away, staring as the train faded further and further away. This was the last person, or maybe the second last, who I wanted to keep me company. I could feel his eyes on me, but we sat in silence till we made it to the entrance of my school. 

“You should join your friends in the Great hall miss Black” Snape said blankly. 

I shrugged at him “I think I’m just going straight to the dormitories, wouldn’t want to embarrass Slytherin.” I said in a mocking tone as I started speeding towards the dungeons.


	2. Nights at Hogwarts

*Freesia’s POV:*

I laid on my bed, staring at the ceiling. I had been laying here for three hours now. My eyes were aching from crying as I fiddled my wand in my hand. The other girls were already asleep, awaiting the new term. 

I slowly sat up after an hour of listening to the slight snoring of the three other girls in my room. I looked around as my feet hit the cold stone floor. Shivers went up my spine as I tested my weight on my weak legs. My knees felt like they were burning as I stood up. They were violet from bruises and cracked loudly as I took a step forward. I quickly scanned the room making sure nobody got startled by the sound. Everyone was still sound asleep. 

I stepped down the cold stairs into our common room. There was light dancing around the walls, it was coming from the fireplace. I saw a dark figure sitting on the couch, they were facing away from me so I couldn’t see who it was. I tried to step lightly as I moved closer, circling around to see their face. Lit up by the light of the fire I saw Draco’s pale face staring blankly into the wall. 

“Draco?” I called his name as softly as I could.

He flinched and pointed his wand at me. 

“Draco, it’s just me. Are you okay?” I said calmly, watching his expression go from fear to worry.

“What are you doing wandering around at this hour, Freesia?” He asked with genuine worry in his voice.

I stared at him, thinking of what to say. 

“Just stressed about all the advanced classes starting-“ I said the first thing that came to my mind. “-What about you, Draco?”

“Same here.” 

I knew he was lying, but I’m pretty sure he knew I was lying too. I sat down next to him, looking into his greyish eyes. 

*Draco’s POV:*

I had been sitting in the Slytherin common room for a while. I was thinking about her, watching as the bright flames in the fireplace grew higher. 

Suddenly I got startled from my dreams by the sound of my name. I turned around quickly and aimed my wand.

“Draco, it’s just me. Are you okay?” My eyes locked onto Freesia’s face.

Why is she here? Why isn’t she in bed?

“What are you doing wandering around at this hour, Freesia?” I asked.

She stared at me for a while.

“Just stressed about all the advanced classes starting, what about you, Draco?”

I knew she was lying, I could see it in her eyes.

“Same here.” I said shrugging. 

She sat down right next to me, her hand brushing against my thigh. I looked at her, she was staring straight into my eyes. I returned the favour. Her eyes were the colour of deep green, I felt like I was watching two emeralds, shining in the light of the fire. Her tan skin looked beautiful in this light. Suddenly I noticed how she looked down at my lips and back to my eyes again, she did this a few time, licking her plumb lips. I took the hint and leaned forward, locking our lips. 

I let my hands fall to the back of her head as I pulled her closer. She let out a little whimper as I let my fingers grasp around her short dark hair. Her lips were soft and warm against mine and I couldn’t help it when bit my lip softly. I left out a rather loud moan, she pulled away a bit and looked at me. She was smirking. I could feel the heat in my cheeks, I must’ve been so red. 

“I love to see you like this, Draco.” She said teasingly. 

“Shut up and speak when spoken to Miss Black” I commanded, surprising even myself. 

She looked astounded, but she closed her mouth, pouting at me nevertheless. I pushed her till she laid on the couch beneath me her dark hair mixing with the fabric. I pressed my lips against hers, grinding my body against hers. She whimpered. I moved down, kissing her neck leaving little red marks as I unbuttoned her shirt. I started to unhook her bra, looking up at her eyes,

I asked: “Is this okay?”

She nodded.

“Use your words.”

“Yes Sir” She said, submitting to each of my movements.


	3. Rough first day

*Freesia’s POV*

Draco had fallen asleep on the couch. I quietly got up and sneaked back to the girls’ dormitory. I still wished I could just stop existing and this didn’t help as much as I had hoped it would have. I thought I just needed to get the Lockhart off of me, but I guess Malfoy wasn’t enough.

I sneaked into the bathroom, trying to make sure the door didn’t creak as I slid in. The bathrooms in the dormitories were quite okay, they had a tub and a shower too. I slid out of Draco’s shirt and dumped all my other clothes in a pile on the floor. I slowly turned the faucet so as not to wake anyone, even though everybody would be awake soon anyways. I tested the warm water and it felt nice after Draco’s cold skin against mine. 

I stepped in and layed in the tub, letting the warm water wet my hair. I stroked my skin as I remembered something. Something I saw in the muggle world all the time. 

‘No self-respecting witch or wizard would ever do that Freesia’ It was Draco’s voice in my head. 

I didn’t care at this moment. I was muggle-born after all, even though almost nobody knew it. 

I reached for my razor and pressed it against the soft skin below my palm. Then I slid. I did it again and again until I felt dizzy and the water had turned bright red. 

——

After gathering my things and getting dressed up I left for the great hall. I tucked on my right sleeve and pulled it down even more than normally.

I sat alone at breakfast, I was not in the mood to talk to anyone. This was pretty normal for me. I couldn’t help but feel a pair of eyes on me the whole time. I just wasn’t sure who’s they were. 

After breakfast I had an advanced DADA class. Hermione Granger, my friend I guess, catched up with me on the way. 

“Hey Freesia!” She exclaimed way too happily. I answered with a wave.

“Did you have a good break?” She asked me, trying to convince an honest answer out of me.

“I guess you could say it was mostly okay.” I sighed. She frowned. 

As we reached the DADA classroom I started to feel squirmy. I felt the eyes on me again and as I turned around I saw him standing there, smiling at me. Lockhart. I felt disgusted, like I was going to throw up. I started running with Hermione on my heels shouting at me.

“Freesia! Freesia stop!” She yelled and I did. 

“What was up with that?” She asked, placing her hands on my shoulders. 

“Oh it’s nothing, I just have too much on my plate now, would you tell Lockhart I’m dropping DADA?” I said calmly. Her mouth was wide open. “Thank you dear.” I added before she had the chance to say anything. She just nodded and turned around heading back to the classroom. 

I sat alone in the hall, crying. I held my face in the palms of my hands as I felt someone stroke my hand. I jumped. 

“Hi gorgeous, why are you crying?” It was George Weasley. 

“I don’t want to talk about it” I sniffled, my voice breaking. 

He hugged me. It felt good. 

“Do you wanna do something else about it?” He asked, smirking and giving a little wink.

I nodded. It wasn’t out of the blue, we had done it before. He grabbed my hand and I followed him around for a while. 

“I knew it would open up for us.” He said, opening a dark brown door that I had never seen before. 

I gasped as we stepped inside. 

“The room of requirement?” I was startled at the sight of a king size bed laying in the middle of the room.

George closed the door, smiling. Everything went quiet and you couldn’t hear anything that was going on outside the door. 

He looked at me, raising his eyebrows. I nodded. The next thing I knew was that I was up against the wall, his hands pressing my wrists down to the wall. It hurt and I flinched at the pain on my right arm. George didn’t stop and he probably didn’t even notice. I soon got used to it and focused on him touching me. He was starting to button down my white shirt as I panicked. 

“Oh no. Could I keep it on, please?”

He looked at me confused, but he didn’t ask. 

“Anything you want, dear” He winked and fell to his knees, lifting my skirt up.

——

I creaked open the door of the room of requirement to peek around before walking into the hall. I was brushing my hands through my hair, trying to sort it out. George came up behind me.

“Thanks for that, see you around, I’m always here for you, but right now I’m gonna be late to class.” He laughed and ran off as the bell rang, telling me that the second period had started. I gathered myself and started running to the opposite direction than George. I had double positions before lunch and I was already on thin ice with Professor Snape. 

I was gasping for air as I reached the dungeons and saw that the classroom door was already closed. ‘Fuck.’ I thought to myself as I raised my knuckles and knocked three times. The door slowly creaked open. 

“You are late, Miss Black.” Snape’s bellowing voice hung over me.

“I know, Professor I’m -“ I tried to say, but he cut me off.

“I am disappointed in you once again, Miss Black. Ten points from Slytherin and I will see you after class.” He said, glaring at me before letting me in.

I sat down next to Hermione and Harry. They both gave me a weak smile. 

“How can he make you stay here during lunch? That’s so unfair and unreasonable!” Hermione whispered to me, she sounded mad and serious.

“It’s okay, I’ll be fine, don’t you worry.”

*Snape’s POV*

“Ah Severus! I’ve been meaning to talk to you!” I heard the goofy voice say behind me as I was rushing to get into my own classroom in time. 

I slowed down and turned around. “What is it Gilderoy?” I asked even though I couldn’t have cared less. 

He looked down at his hands and then started fidgeting a bit. 

“Spit it out.” I said pitifully. 

He looked up at my eyes, confused. 

“I just thought I should let you know that one of your students made a rash decision on dropping my class.” He said, nodding to himself stupidly. 

“And who may this student be, Gilderoy?

“Miss Freesia Black, Sir.” He responded, looking confused.

I was shocked. How could she make such an irresponsible move? She was one of my top students? Why would she act like this? Did she forget what she was supposed to become?

Gilderoy stood there, still waiting for an answer. 

“Is that all you wish to say to me, Gilderoy?” I asked firmly. 

He hesitated, but then decided to nod. I turned around on my heels, letting my cape fall back as I took my steps towards the dungeons. 

As I reached my classroom I sat down, completely shocked at the news. What would make her act like this? To throw away her future? As I sat there contemplating the reasons that might be behind all of this, my classroom filled up. I lifted up my gaze and looked around the class, only to see that she was not here. Where could she be? She was never late. Everything that was happening was very unlike her. 

“Open pages 689 to 690. You’ll be doing this potion in groups of three with the people sitting beside you right now.” I sighed at the mere stupidity of my students. 

Then there was a slight knock on the door and my body reacted before my mind could and I had opened the door. I saw Freesia Black standing there, looking scared and vulnerable. Her hair was messy and her clothes looked wrinkly and weird. 

“You are late, Miss Black.” I said in a demanding voice.

“I know, Professor I’m -“ She tried to explain it, but I didn’t want to hear. At least not now.

“I am disappointed in you once again, Miss Black. Ten points from Slytherin.” I said and she looked at me, she was hurt. “and I will see you after class.” I added as I needed to talk to her about her situation. I let her in and she ran to the table with Miss Granger and the Potter idiot. I scowled at the sight of her sitting next to his highness and his ego. 

I heard miss Granger muffle something about lunch and not making it. 

“It’s okay, I’ll be fine, don’t you worry.” I heard this in the sweet and soft sound of Freesia Black. 

I let them be, ogling around the classroom as I walked in circles. I couldn’t help it, but a lot of times my eyes wandered up upon Miss Black. ‘This could not mean anything at all’, I thought. The lesson went by quickly and I sat in my chair handling papers as the students left the classroom. 

“You wanted to see me, Professor?”

I turned my gaze up to look at Miss Black. She looked worried. I looked back down.

*Freesia’s POV*

“I heard you are planning on dropping the defence against the dark arts class, is this correct?” Professor Snape said, his tone was cold and firm. He wasn’t even looking at me. I shivered. 

“Yes, I-“

“Is your wish still to become an auror?” His voice sent another set of shivers down my spine. 

“I hadn’t thought about that.” I said, my eyes filling with tears with the realisation.

He looked up at me and then quickly back down.

“You’re just as arrogant as your father. I pity myself for having faith in you.”

I was shocked. I felt the tears pooling in my eyes finally falling down my cold cheeks. How could he say that to me?

“What?” I squeaked, that’s all I could get out. 

“I think you heard me.” He looked up at me again. “You are being arrogant. Did you really think you could become an auror without taking the necessary studies?” His voice was a little softer than before, but it still felt like it was icing me. 

“I didn’t think-“ I started.

“Exactly” He said, looking back down. 

“I had a reason!” I almost screamed, tears running down my face. 

He looked at me, shocked by my attitude. I couldn’t blame him. I was a bit shocked about screaming too. 

“Do tell.” Is all he said, waiting to hear my reason.

“It is personal.” I stated, turning around to leave. 

“Miss Black you were not excused.”

I kept walking, not turning around to listen to him.

“Detention, tomorrow night, Miss Black.” He said, his voice even colder than before.

I scoffed and walked away.


	4. Falling apart

*Draco’s POV*

I sat in divination, not listening to anything professor Trelawney was saying. I was thinking about Freesia and last night. 

She was gone by the morning and I only saw her once today. She didn’t even look my way in potions. She came in looking somewhat weird, kind of messy. I wondered what she had been doing.

I wish I could be with her, but it just could not happen. Everyone would start asking questions if they knew what happened between us. Her last name is Black, everyone thinks she is the daughter of my mom’s cousin Sirius Black. She isn’t though, but no one can know that. 

“You have been hurt.” Trelawney’s squeaky voice shook me from my thoughts,

“What?” I looked up and she was standing right in front of my desk. Grabbe was sitting next to me, looking confused. 

“You have been hurt and the one that hurt you will betray you deeply.” She continued.

“What a load of bullshit” I laughed and nudged Grabbe. He laughed.

Trelawney left looking offended. I laughed, but in my head I was panicking. 

‘Is the one who hurt me Freesia? What is she going to do? What is this, why would I believe this old crook?’

——

I was walking into the Slytherin dormitories as I saw Freesia sitting in the corner of the hallway. I walked over to her. 

“Hi, you good?” I asked, slouching down to meet her eyes. 

She quickly looked at me. 

“Oh hi, Draco.” She looked back down. “Yeah I’m good thanks.”

“You were gone by the time I woke up” I laughed, trying to continue the conversation.

“I would appreciate it if we wouldn’t talk about that. Just forget it even happened.” She said scoffing. 

“Oh, oh okay” I answered and turned around, my body was shivering from anger, sadness and anxiety as I walked away. ‘Why would she do this?’

*Snape’s POV*

I was sorting through papers on my desk when there was a knock on the door. 

“Come in.”

The door creaked open and Miss Black peaked in, waited a beat, and then walked in. 

“I’m here for my detention, Professor.” She said, looking down at her feet, probably waiting for her horrible task.

“Sit down-“ I said looking at her, “-please” I decided to add as I knew I had hurt her before. I hated to see her like that. 

She looked up at me, frowning her brows. She was confused, but she slowly walked to a desk and sat down. 

“What’s my task?” She asked now looking straight into my eyes. 

“Nothing. I just wanted to talk to you.” 

She looked even more confused than before. Still she nodded at me, not taking her eyes off of me. Her stare made my heart skip a beat.

“I wanted to say that I am sorry for taking a shot at your father-“ This felt stupid. 

“Why did you do it then?” She asked suddenly, making my heart skip again.

“I-“ I shook my head a little before continuing. “Me and your father had some problems back in school and I was annoyed with you. You remind me of him.”

She looked at me, frowning. I shouldn’t have said that.

“I am sorry to hear that, but still as a Professor here you need to be able to control yourself, you have no right to take it out on me. The fact that you know that he is dead and you would still say that to me-“ She stopped as I saw shivers go down her spine.

“It’s okay Miss Black. I know and that’s why I wanted to talk to you.”

She looked at me, annoyed.

“It’s just like you wanted to hurt me, you got what you wanted here.”

My heart skipped once again and this time it really got me. I felt the urge to shout, to scream at her that this was the last thing that I wanted. I had to make sure she knew that. Why would I feel like this over a mere student is beyond me, but I didn’t have time to think about that. 

“Miss Black. I need you to listen to me now.”

She nodded, raising her eyebrows.

I sighed. “I did not want to hurt you, oh, believe me that was the last thing I wanted to happen. I am deeply sorry for you having felt that way and I should not have said what I said earlier.” My voice did a little squeak at the end and I quickly looked away from her.

“Okay.” She said calmly. I looked up, she smiled at me. I smiled back. She frowned her eyebrows again, but very quickly readjusted.

“We also need to talk about you dropping Defence Against the Dark Arts.” I continued, trying to get past my idiotic manners,. They already almost gave me away.

She looked at me and suddenly tensed up. She was holding her right forearm with her left hand tightly. She looked scared.

“Miss Black. Why did you drop the class?” I was speaking in a calm, but deep voice. Trying to make her feel safe. 

She shook her head. “I felt overwhelmed with all my classes and I decided I don’t need DADA.” She was lying. 

She worried me, looking so lost and hurt. It felt wrong, but I decided to get the truth. I looked at her intensely and used legilimency, which I shouldn’t have done.

_She was kneeling on the floor of the train, she was hurting. She felt stuck, she could not scream. Someone touching her, grabbing her, forcing themselves in. Nothing. Then me._

I felt myself gasp, I felt betrayed, I felt like I was restricted and like I needed to gasp for air.

I shook it off. “Miss Black, who was it?”

She jumped at the question. “What?” She laughed. 

“I know what happened on the train. Who was it?” 

Her eyes widened and she shook her head.

“WHO was it?” My voice was suddenly louder. 

She shook her head again and started to get up.

“Miss Black, you are not leaving. Tell me, who was it?”

She was already standing up when she faced me with tears in her eyes. 

“No.” She said. 

“WHO WAS IT in that compartment with you?” I was shouting at this point.

Tears falling down her cheeks she shook her head again and turned around, running out of my classroom.

I felt myself fall. I was on the floor when I pushed my palms against my face, wanting to scream. I felt the tears falling down my cheeks. I rocked as I cried. The pain I felt, the pain she must feel is uncontrollable. 

Why did I feel this way for her? Why would someone hurt her? How could someone hurt her?


	5. Best friends

*Freesia’s POV*

I was crying, wandering the halls, trying to wipe the tears off my face as they kept forming.

“Freesia hey!” I heard her shout. 

I stopped, wiped my face with my robes and turned around. “Hi Hermione” I smiled vaguely. 

“What’s going on dear?” She saw right through me. I sniffled. 

“Let’s go for a walk hun, cmon.” She said, grabbing my hand and leading me outside. 

The air was frisky, but it wasn’t necessarily cold. She led us all the way to the Black lake and we sat down. She put her arms around me and squeezed me. 

I sniffled again. “Thanks Hermione.” I said, smiling at her.

“What’s going on with you dear?” She asked, looking me in the eyes as she slid away, leaving her hands on both of my shoulders. 

“I just- Uh, there is just so much going on and I feel overwhelmed and something bad happened, but I’m not ready to talk about it yet.” I told her what I could.

She nodded, smiling a little. She understood. 

“Is George still around?” She changed the subject subtly and nudged me. 

I laughed. “Guess what, or more like who, I did while you were in DADA?” I winked at her.

She squealed “No you did not!!” She shook her head and rolled her eyes at me. “You are unbelievable.” She said.

“Do you wanna know who else?” I asked teasingly.

“What do you mean who else, we have barely even started school yet.” She genuinely looked at me like I was lying. 

“It’s gonna shock you.” I winked again.

“What? Who?” She was leaning towards me, waiting impatiently.

“Draco.” I said, staring blankly into her eyes as they filled with shock.

“What? Draco as in Draco Malfoy?” She didn’t believe me.

She shook her head as I nodded and she continued “But isn’t he your-“

“Second cousin? No not really.” I said as blankly as I could, trying not to laugh at her shocked face.

“Freesia what are you saying right now?” She laughed as she was trying to figure it out.

“Oh yeah. Sirius isn’t my real father.” I tried to keep calm, but I felt my lips tuck as I held in the laughter. 

She looked at me, raising her eyebrows. I nodded. We both started laughing out loud. Our laughter rang around the empty grounds. 

“What Freesia? What kind of information is this?” She mumbled between laughs, grabbing my arm. 

“Yeah! You’re the only non-family member who knows now, so consider yourself special!” I laughed. 

She grabbed me fully into her arms and held on tightly. We fell on the ground and laughed more and more. I was glad to have a friend like her.

*Snape’s POV*

I was running. I ran as fast as I could towards the second floor. I got a few looks from students wandering the hallways, but I did not stop to tell them off. I reached the high griffin statue and spoke the words ‘Sherbet lemon’. I sped up the stairs into the dimly lit office.

“Severus, what a surprise!” Dumbledore exclaimed and stood up, smiling.

I was still catching my breath.

“What is going on, Severus?” He asked, his smile was fading as he saw me tremble.

“Something terrible has happened, to one of my students.” I started out.

“Well,-“ He took a few steps closer and placed his hand on my shoulder, “What is it Severus?” He understood me better than anyone.

“I- I just had detention with-” My voice was breaking up. “Earlier I had found her on the train-” I felt my words lose all meaning as my heart pounded and I felt my throat closing up.

Dumbledore obviously caught on my state of mind and he patted my shoulder as I trembled to the ground. 

“Who is it that something happened to?” He asked.

I sniffled. “Freesia Black.” 

He looked at me, tilting his head, thinking. 

“Severus is it okay if I-“ He was staring at me. 

“Yeah just do it, I can’t say it out loud.” I said through my sharp breathing.

I was kneeling on the floor as he stood next to me, going through my mind. 

“Oh Severus..” He started. “And we don’t know who did that?”

I shook my head.

“We will get to the bottom of this, don’t you worry Severus.” He said, kneeling next to me.

“Next time you see her, tell her that I need to see her in my office.” He said calmly.

I nodded. I sat there for a while before getting up to leave. As I was standing by the staircase Dumbledore spoke once more.

“Oh and Severus, the way you feel about this girl. Don’t let it ruin you.” He said. I looked at him, frowning my brows. He smiled. 

I wished I didn’t know what he was talking about as I walked away, thinking about her.


	6. The lust

*Freesia’s POV*

It had been a few days since everything went down with Draco and Snape too. I had been avoiding them to the best of my abilities.

I was walking out of the Slytherin common room in the morning as Draco ambushed me.

“Hey Freesia, I think we need to talk.” He stood in my way, his white blonde hair swaying over his eyes. His light eyes were sparkling in the candle light.

“What do you want to talk about?” I sighed and stroked my own hair behind my ear.

“About us Freesia, what do you think?” He scoffed at me.

“Hey you’re the one who wanted to talk!” I scoffed back, getting annoyed over him not getting it over with.

“Freesia, you know I really like you right?” He looked down from my eyes, going from feisty to cute.

I softened my own voice to match his. “Draco.” I took a step closer, softly taking his hand in mine. “You know that you are important to me. But you know we cannot do this and you know why.” He put his other hand over my right one holding his. He lifted it up and kissed it. Suddenly his eyes blew wide. I traced his gaze to my wrist. ‘Oh no.’ I thought.

“Draco I-” I pulled my hand away from his.

“Freesia..” His voice was high and I could hear the shock. 

I held my hands close to my chest. “Draco it’s nothing. You don’t need to worry.”

“Freesia, what is going on?” His eyes were shining bright with tears.  
“Draco, do not. I can’t do this right now.” I said turning away. “We’ll talk later.”

“Freesia, you matter to me, remember that.” I heard his voice fading away while I finally walked out of the room. I crunched my robe in my hand and wiped my eyes. 

“Miss Black, I’ve been looking for you.” I heard a voice behind me and I immediately recognized it as Professor Snape. I am not sure why I did what I did next, but I just started running. I had been avoiding him for days, going to his classes late and leaving before he could reach me. I didn’t want to deal with this right now, right after Draco. 

I ran up the stairs, not looking back. I didn’t even think he was following me, but I wasn’t going to risk it. I ran till I collided with a bunch of orange. I stumbled and stopped. I looked at who I ran into. 

“Oh my god Ginny, I’m so sorry!” I said, running out of breath. 

“Where are you running?” Her eyes were as wide as her smile.

“Oh, I’m actually running from Snape.” I laughed. 

She looked behind me, “He is coming right now.”

I quickly glanced back and saw a black cape flowing towards us.

“Run!” She shouted and we both started running. 

“In here!” She suddenly grabbed my arm and pulled me in from a door to our left. She slammed it shut in a hurry and I stumbled over her, making us both fall down. 

We laughed as I laid on top of her. 

“You’re Hermione’s friend, Freesia, right?” She said laughing and smiling at me. 

I laughed loudly. “Oh yes, you didn’t even know me and you committed to this fully.”

“Of course I did! Do I want to know why you were running from Snape?” She asked, throwing her hands on top of me as we still hadn’t moved.

“Oh you do not!” I said, stroking her ginger hair out of her deep brown eyes.  
She smiled at me, I smiled back. She slid her hands on my back till they reached my hair. She let her fingers stroke through as she pulled me down to meet her lips. I kissed her back softly as she pulled my body closer to hers. 

She started to deepen the kiss, grabbing and pulling my hair softly. I moaned against her lips and I felt her smirk. Suddenly she slid her hands on my waist and grabbed me, throwing me over so that she was top. She disconnected our lips and smirked at me. 

“You good?” She asked. I nodded vigorously. “Great” She smirked again connecting our lips again as she slid her body against mine, her knee resting and pushing between my legs. 

She slowly unbuttoned my shirt as I gasped for air between kisses. When she had unbuttoned my shirt all the way down she moved to kiss my neck while grabbing my hair. She descended, ending up kissing my breasts as I moaned and found my hands in her soft, long hair. She let her hands slide across my sides as I squirmed from the tickles. She softly laughed going even lower, lifting up my pleated skirt she started kissing my thighs. Slowly moving her hands to the edge of my strings, tucking on them. I lifted my hips up as she pulled them down and off of me. 

I tightened my grip around her hair as she placed her hands on my thighs, slowly getting closer to me. I could feel her warm breath as she hovered above. I tightened my grip again as she slowly let her tongue on my clit. She started out with long, slow strokes and she slowly built up a faster pace, flicking her tongue up and down. She let her hands wander on my sides, grabbing and scratching me. She continued on like this as I let my hips thrust with her rhythm, pulling her closer by her hair. I felt the warmth in me grow as I tensed and started to feel my legs shake a little. I could feel that she was smiling. 

My legs shook uncontrollably as I grabbed Ginny’s hair as hard as I could and she let out a little whine, still not stopping. I threw my head back and arched my back as I came, never letting go of her hair I pulled her up against my body and pressed her lips against mine. We kissed slowly as she let me flip us the other way around, me being on top this time. I continued to do the same she did to me. She ended up coming with loud moans as I flicked my finger inside of her in the beat of my tongue. 

I got up on my knees, kissed her and laid down on the floor next to her. 

“Wow that was quick, we can still make it to breakfast.” She said, sitting up.   
She offered me her hand and helped me up. We both buttoned our shirts and gathered our other clothes from the floor. I stroked my fingers through her hair that was frizzing now. She did the same to mine. 

She grabbed my face, gave me a quick kiss and opened the door. We walked to the Great Hall together.


	7. Mind of Magic

*Freesia’s POV*

I headed up to the divination tower with Hermione, Harry and Ron. I wasn’t really sure why Hermione was still taking this class, as she complained all the way up about how it’s just a bunch of crap. 

“Yeah Hermione, we know, you’ve told us.” Ron said, slightly nudging Hermione so that she bumped into me. I laughed a little, but she didn’t find it funny.

We entered the classroom and sat down around an oval table made out of dark wood. I loved the divination classroom. All the earth toned blankets on the walls and the ceiling combined with the candles flickering really made it feel like a whole another world. I sniffed the air and inhaled the rosey smell that was the combination of the candles, all the tea leaves and flowers. I loved it in here, it made me think back to my childhood. Visiting Camden with my father, I mean Sirius, the smell threw me right in the alleys of the market. I could even hear the sounds of Camden at nightfall, the pubs, the sellers closing up, some still shouting out bargains, the music.

“Miss Black, I really think you possess the sight, the energy coming of you is unbelievable” Trelawney’s wavy voice cut through my daydream.

“Tell us dear-” Her hands were curled up against her chest and her eyes enlarged by her glasses. “-what did you see just now?” She was physically trembling to the vibrations of her voice.

I was so caught off guard, I stammered for a second. “I-, I was-, I saw Camden, I felt like I was there with my father when I was a child.” I smiled to myself. “But I don’t think that has anything to do with seeing the future.” I added quickly, realizing how stupid that must’ve sounded.

“No no dear, the gift of the past, seeing and feeling the past is a much more rare type of gift. The way I saw you there, I could feel what you had felt then. The pain of not feeling it anymore. That is the gift you have, a gift crucial in all of divination and the future.” Her voice bounced as she got excited for me. 

I couldn’t help, but smile. I thought about my father for a millisecond more before nodding and smiling to Trelawney. Her hugely portrayed eyes blinked at me before she started talking again.

“In today’s class we will-”

I zoned out of her voice to turn to Hermione and her friends. 

“You must’ve enjoyed that, huh?” Harry asked Hermione who wasn’t all that glad at the praise I got. It had nothing to do with her not being happy for me or anything. Trelawney just has on multiple occasions made it very clear that, despite the fact that she and I were the brightest witches our age, I had inherited the art of divination and she had definitely not.

I nudged her and smiled, “You know you’re better in charms and transfiguration than me, right?” She tried to scoff at me, but it quickly turned into a laugh as I mimicked Trelawney’s mannerisms to her and the boys. 

I was waving my hands in the air on my sides as Ron said “You know you two are both better than me and Harry together in all the classes?” We all laughed. 

I didn’t really enjoy Ron and Harry that much, but I had been kind of hanging out with them since second year when Hermione and I became best friends. They were in the end very important to her, even though I preferred my alone time with my one real friend. 

The class flew by with group work on tea leaves, I was the only one of the group to get praised by Trelawney as we left. 

I had a break as I dropped DADA, so I just waved the group goodbye as they ran for the next class. I decided to take a stroll around the grounds and I walked over to the edge of the Dark Forest, imagining all the amazing creatures living their life behind the line of the dark trees. 

“Heya, Freesia!” A soft, bellowing voice sounded somewhere behind me. I turned around to face Hagrid. He was carrying a lapful of cut up tree trunks, waddling towards me. 

“Hi Hagrid.” I smiled at him, I grabbed my wand and helped him by levitating the trunks of the trees to the ground in a nice pile. 

He looked at me and then the trunks and scoffed with a smile, “Ya were always talented, weren’t ya.” I smiled at him again.

“So what are ya doing here at this time, no classes, huh?” He asked, genuinely interested.

“Yeah no, I dropped DADA so I decided to come for a walk on my break.” I bend my knees to look at some white flowers I noticed on the ground. 

He tilted his head to see what I was doing as I reincarnated a few dead flowers. They bloomed slowly under my hand.

“That is some beautiful magic ya got there.” Hagrid stated, still following the progress. I smiled and nodded. This was my favorite type of magic. 

“It’s so sweet and beautiful, but it is also a metaphor on how we hold death in our hands on a daily basis. I could just decide who gets to live and who does not as I meet them. The power we hold is immense to the world outside of magic.” I said, standing up from the now fully blooming flowers. They were shimmering in the sunlight. 

“Ya were always an interesting one, weren’t ya Freesia?” It was more a statement than a question. He was looking at me, trying to figure out what I was feeling at that moment. Or maybe even what he was feeling after hearing what I had just said. 

“You too, Hagrid.” I smiled at him sweetly, he smiled back. “I have to get going now if I’m thinking about making it to lunch.” I said sweetly. 

“Bye, Hagrid.”

“Bye, Freesia.”

I had just started strolling away on the beautifully green field as-

“Hey Freesia! Almost forgot, Professor Dumbledore wanted to see ya, he said it was urgent, maybe stop by his office, ya know!”

“Oh, thanks Hagrid!” I waved back at him. Why would Professor Dumbledore want to see me? Was it to do with my mom? Oh god. I started running towards the castle.


	8. The truth

*Dumbledore’s POV*

I was sitting in my office as Minerva walked in. 

“Oh hi Minerva what is going on?” I asked, raising my gaze to smile at her.

“Miss Black here-” I saw a tiny girl peek from behind Minerva’s back. “-asked me to let her into your office, did you want me to do that?”

“Oh yes, Miss Black come on in.-” She stepped in my direction and waited for me to finish with Minerva. “-Thank you Minerva.” I intensified my look on her and mouthed ‘get Severus’. She nodded.

“Thank you Albus, see you later!” She exclaimed as she left. 

I turned my head to face Miss Black. “Do sit down.” I said, nodding towards an empty chair on the other side of my desk.  
She nodded and tiptoed over to the chair. “You wanted to see me Professor?” She asked quietly, looking down to her feet. 

“Yes, Miss Black, how did you hear?” I asked out of curiosity. 

“Oh. Hagrid told me just now.” She answered, looking tense. 

“There is nothing to worry about Miss Black, it has nothing to do with your family.” I assured as the tension visibly left her body. 

“Why did you want to see me then, Professor?” She asked in a casual, relaxed voice. 

Then the door creaked open and Severus stepped in. “Ah Severus, good you are here!” I watched the play as Severus’ eyes landed on Miss Black and the worry filled them. As Miss Black turned around to look at Severus and then back at me. She felt obviously betrayed and she seemed angry. I could see her plotting on how to get out of the room, but Severus was still blocking the door. 

“Albus. Miss Black.” Severus greeted us, not moving away from the door as he saw what Miss Black was planning on. He could not even look at her anymore.

“Miss Black, we would love to talk to you, if you could promise to sit here with us.” I tried to move the situation along, even though I was secretly enjoying the quiet movie in my office.

“I do not wish to talk to him.” She said, sending a nasty glare towards Severus. In my head I gasped, but I didn’t show it to either of them. Severus’ face was numb as he stared at the floor. I could see that he was anxious with the way he was fiddling his hands. 

“As you know Professor Snape is your Head of House and him being here would make this easier for each and every one of us. Is it okay for him to sit quietly there, you won’t hear or see him.” I tried. Severus looked over her at me, confused and his eyes watering. Oh Merlin, I hadn’t seen him act this way since-.

Miss Black glared back at Severus, who quickly turned his face away to hide the pain. “Fine.” She scoffed and turned to face me. I smiled at her. She raised her eyebrow, tilting her head forward. To be fair it was rather intimidating. 

“It has been brought to my attention that something rather horrible happened to you on the Express when you were traveling back to school, is this right?” I stated the first question calmly. Severus was looking at me from behind her, anxiously waiting.

She was sitting there, quietly contemplating. Her feet were fidgeting, making the helm of her skirt bounce. She was grasping onto her right wrist with her left hand like her life depended on it. Oh. I had seen this before. 

She looked up at me. “Yes.” She stated, trying to hold herself together.

“Could you tell me what happened exactly?” I continued with the second question.

“Oh didn’t the creep get it out of my brain for you?” She snapped, waving behind her. 

Severus flinched, but kept holding himself together. ‘Please.’ He mouthed at me. Miss Black was not the only one who didn’t want him to be here, I thought. I lifted my hand and pressed it down slowly in the air to signal them both to calm down. 

“Miss Black. I know that what Professor Snape did is not okay and he has dealt with the consequences. I still really need you to tell me what happened.” I nodded at her, signaling it’s safe to say anything.

She sighed. “I went down for a nap and woke up to someone using me. That is what happened.” She rolled her eyes at me. 

“Okay, thank you. How long did it go on?” Third question asked. Severus flinched more than she did, even though she was taken aback too.

“Oh. Uh I don’t know exactly. The pain made me fall pretty soon.” She said tightening her grip around her wrist. I didn’t want to point it out now. I nodded and looked up at Severus, whose mouth was slightly open from the shock. He had no way of controlling his feelings at this point. 

“Thank you. And the last question would be, do you know who did it to you?” I asked in the calmest voice I could bare. 

“I don’t know.” She stated a little too quickly. Severus rolled his eyes. 

“Miss Black, you know why this is extremely important for us to know if you have any idea of who was in that compartment with you.” She nodded. “It happened on the train. It has to be one of our pupils and they will suffer the consequences immediately.” I continued.

She looked down for a while, then back at me. “It wasn’t a student.” Oh.

“What?” Came a shout from behind her. Severus was standing up, shock all over his face.

“What do you mean ‘it wasn’t a student’?” He was shouting at the poor girl.

“Severus-” I started.

“No. I am not going to calm down. Miss Black I need you to tell me what happened and who it was.” He continued shouting. 

Miss Black turned back around to face me. A questioning look on her face. She kind of seemed to be enjoying Severus losing his mind right next to her. She raised her eyebrows, silently asking whether I understood. I nodded. 

“Colloportus” I whispered, the locks on the door to my office clacking. Miss Black smiled at me. Severus was looking at us, confused, before starting again. 

“What do you mean that it was not a student?” He asked again and again. 

“It was a teacher.” She finally said. I had figured this out already and it was a shock. But right now I had to stay focused on Severus, even though I could feel the anxiety in my own body too. 

Severus lost it. “WHO WAS IT?” He kneeled down. Stood back up. “Freesia, who the hell was it?” He shouted the question. She was taken aback by hearing her first name from a professor. 

“Who was in that compartment with you?” He asked again, his voice shivering.

“It was Professor Lockhart who was in the compartment with me.” She stated calmly, not looking up at either of us.

Severus just screamed. Nothing comprehendible. He ran for the door. Rattled it and then raised his wand. “Expelliarmus.” I stated, grabbing his wand as it flew to me. 

He turned to face me. “That pig needs to pay. The arrogant idiot, do you know what this means Albus? DO you? He needs to be taken care of immediately. Freesia didn’t- ” I raised my eyebrows as he yelled at me. He took a few breaths before looking at Miss Black, not shouting anymore. “-I mean. Miss Black. She didn’t deserve any of this.” His eyes were tearing up with frustration. Miss Black just looked so confused as to why Severus was acting this way. 

“Thank you for telling us Miss Black. I am deeply sorry that this happened to you. You should stay here with Severus as I go and fetch Lockhart.” I said, hiding my own pain from both of them. She nodded. Severus looked at me, his mouth open again. I sent him a meaningful look as I exited with a tap of my wand, leaving the two alone.


	9. Special?

Freesia’s POV:

As Dumbledore left I turned to face Snape. He was looking at me with his black, straight hair almost covering his dark eyes. His face was red from crying. I felt bad for him.

“I am sorry for being rude to you, Sir.” I felt like I had to say it, he was just trying to help me. He looked at me with a single tear falling down his cheek.

“No, don’t be. I took this to heart and I did some things I shouldn’t have done, Freesia.” His voice was even lower and huskier than normally due to the earlier done shouting.

“It’s okay, all forgiven here.” I smiled at him.

“I am so deeply sorry you had to suffer through this time and that I pressured you to tell why you dropped DADA and I said those thing about your-” 

I stopped him. “Professor, it is okay. I understand. This seems like it really meant something to you and I don’t know what it is, but I’m glad it did as I would’ve never been able to tell Professor Dumbledore if you hadn’t done this. So thank you.” I said trying to reassure him that it was all okay. He weakly smiled. It was so rare that it made me laugh a little.

“What are you laughing at?” He asked, frowning.

I hid my face in my hands as I gathered myself. “Oh, it’s just that, you know, a smile really suits you and I think I’ve seen you smile like two times before.”

“Oh, I- I don’t-” He stuttered.

“Makes you less scary, you know? Maybe you should do it more often.” I said laughing a bit. 

He rolled his eyes at me. 

“There are just not that many things in life that make me smile.” His voice was so low that I felt it vibrate through my body.

That sounded so sad, but I thought about something. “You know what?” I asked. He raised his eyebrows, his face was a little less red and he was clearly calming down. 

“Do you know why I was never afraid of you?” I asked. He looked at me, confused.

“I thought you might want to talk about what happened, Miss Black.” He stated. 

I sighed. “Well, to be fair, I would rather not as it will just make us both anxious here.” 

“Okay.” Is all he said, looking down at his hands. I waited in silence. 

“Why were you not afraid of me?” He asked, looking up at me now. His guard was down and he wasn’t as rough as he usually was, even with me. 

“You smiled at me.” I said, pointing to my wide smile.

He rolled his eyes, he looked like he might’ve even laughed a little bit. 

“In my second year. You wished me a happy birthday and you smiled at me.” I said. He shook his head a little. 

“Not one of my finest moments as a teacher.” He said, trying to build his walls up again. 

“Oh you do remember it?” I exclaimed. 

“Yes.” I could hear that he was annoyed.

I thought back to the moment as how I remembered it. 

*Flashback*

___I was just turning thirteen. I remember going to Snape’s class earlier that day. He was already sitting at his desk and I went to ask him about our latest essays. 

“Do you happen to have graded our essays, Professor?” I asked, tucking my long brown hair behind my ear.

He looked up at me. His face was blank. “Yes, Miss Black.” He looked back down, fiddling through the papers. 

My stomach was full of butterflies, I might’ve had a little crush on him. I was staring intensely as he went through his drawers, his black hair falling in front of his face. 

“Here, Miss Black.” He stated, sliding one paper away from the others. “You could’ve just waited to hear your grades with the rest of the class” He said, looking agitated. 

“Oh I know, I’m sorry, I was just really excited as it’s my birthday and-” I stopped. I realized that it was a stupid excuse. 

He stared at me, I looked away quickly. His stare made the butterflies in my stomach unbearable. 

“Your work was outstanding, again.” He said in a low, nonspecific voice. 

“Thank you, Sir.” I said as he handed me the essay. 

I turned around and started walking towards my favorite seat, where I could see Snape the whole class. 

“And, Miss Black.” His voice shot through me. I turned around to look at him, raising my eyebrows. “Happy Birthday.” He said, smiling at me.___

*End of flashback*

“Yeah.” I laughed at his annoyed response. 

“I never told anyone, just so you know, so everyone else is still afraid of you.” I said teasingly. 

“You are acting weird towards a professor, Miss Black.” He said coldly.

I sighed. “We are in a weird situation, aren’t we Professor?” 

He shook his head, but responded with “Yeah, I guess you could say that.” 

I laughed again. I found this situation absurd, but here I was, no one to chat to but Snape. 

“And I think you’ve been acting a bit weirdly too, Professor.” I stated the obvious.

He looked at me, his eyes were wide. I waited for him to say something, so we sat in silence. 

After a while he just asked, “Why didn’t you tell anyone?” 

“Oh, I think I just wanted to feel special, like I meant something to a Professor.” I said casually. It’s not like I was still crushing on him.

He raised his eyebrows. I couldn’t quite figure out what was going on in his head. 

I felt weird in this situation, “Well was I special or something then?” I asked, jokingly. 

For a moment I saw him flinch, but he quickly regained his usual indifferent and unreadable expression.

The locks on the door clicked. We both looked that way. Then at each other. 

“Yes you were, Miss Black.” 

My heart dropped and pounded loudly as I stared at him. I could feel hot waves up and down my body. ‘Oh shit.’ I thought to myself as he stood up. ‘Maybe I still felt for him?’

*Snape’s POV*

“And I think you’ve been acting a bit weirdly too, Professor.” She said, looking at me.

I stared back, but I didn’t say anything. I didn’t know what to say. She was right, I had been acting stupidly. I don’t know why I felt so deeply for this student. 

Maybe it was because there wasn't even the slightest bit of hate or dislike in her eyes when she looked at me. Except for today, when she was mad at me. It had been years since someone had looked at me without hatred. 

Maybe it was because I felt that she might’ve cared for me at some point. Maybe it was that her green eyes reminded me of hers.

I had to say something, I had lost myself in my thoughts. 

“Why didn’t you tell anyone?” I asked, trying to move the topic along without addressing my stupidity. 

“Oh, I think I just wanted to feel special, like I meant something to a Professor.” She said casually. 

My heart dropped. ‘Why did she want to be special to me? Was she special to me even back then?’ I thought to myself.

“Well was I special or something then?” She asked, laughing a little. 

I was shocked by the question. I gathered myself, but I think she might’ve noticed. 

I thought about it, ‘Should I let her know? Maybe she really did feel something for me too.’

The locks on the door clicked. We both looked that way. Then at each other. 

Now was my chance, she wouldn’t have time to react as the others were walking in. 

“Yes you were, Miss Black.” I said, standing up.

She was looking at me, her mind must’ve been going a thousand miles a second. I smiled. She smiled back. I offered my hand to help her stand and she took it and stood up. I quickly let go of her hand as Albus peaked through the door. 

“Severus,-” He sent me a meaningful look. “-Miss Black, would you be kind to step outside for a while as I talk to Mr. Lockhart? I’ll call you back in soon enough.”

I felt the anger flush me as I was reminded of the ongoing situation. I looked down at Freesia and she was fiddling anxiously. 

“Yes Albus. Thank you.” I signaled for Freesia to follow me and slightly guided her behind me as we waited for the others to walk in. 

I stared in disgust as Lockhart walked in behind Albus. I could feel Freesia shivering behind me, Lockhart’s eyes were wide with shock as he registered what was happening. He took a step back, but Minerva walked in right behind him. She was shaking her head at him. He quickly turned to face away from us. Minerva tried to smile. 

I let my hand guide Freesia out of the office into the staircase. She was looking down at her hands as she walked the stairs, I stayed right behind her, hearing the locks on the door click again.

As we got down into the hallway she fell on her knees, gasping for air. I quickly got down by her side.

“Freesia, hey, everything will be okay. Just try and breathe now.” My guard was completely down at this point, but I needed to help her and there wasn’t anyone else around. I helped her to move to a more comfortable position, she took my hands in hers and squeezed tight. My heart skipped as her warm hands were holding mine. 

“Do you need me to get someone, like Madame Pomfrey?” I asked, not quite sure how I should go about this situation. 

She shook her head. “It’ll pass, just stay with me.” She mumbled between her rapid breaths. 

‘She wanted me to stay here? With her, when she is at her most vulnerable?’ A thought that warmed my heart. I thought about her trusting me even though she was betrayed by another Professor. Shivers went down my spine as I thought of that. I turned my attention back to her.

“Of course.” I said, smiling, even though her eyes were closed. 

I let her squeeze my hands and I kept trying to help her steady her breaths. After what felt like seconds, but was minutes, her breathing was better and she wasn’t shaking anymore. 

“Are you starting to feel better?” I asked calmly. 

“Yeah.” Her voice was full of air as she sighed out. 

“Thank you.” She said, opening her eyes to look at me. 

I was taken aback by the dim lights hitting her eyes, making them bright green. The tears were pooling at the bottom, they made her eyes shine even brighter. Her eyes were so beautiful, I thought.

“Of course, Freesia. I’m here.” I said. She loosened her grip on my hands, but I slid hers into mine. We just looked at each other for what felt like hours, in a good way.

“Professor-” She started after a while. 

“You don’t have to call me a professor.” I said, finding it quite weird that I was on a first name basis with a student, not that it was the weirdest thing here.

“Severus?” Her voice was soft and shaken. 

“Yes?” I said in my usual tone.

“What did you mean by that I was special?” She asked, looking up at me, her eyes were drilling into mine. 

I knew this was coming. I cleared my throat. 

“I just always thought you were a great student, and you are still the greatest witch of your age.” I said. She looked disappointed and shifted her eyes down. 

“I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable here. If you want it to mean just that, then it will. If you want it to mean more, just ask me again.” I said, trying to figure out what was going on inside her head. Hoping that this didn’t make her feel even worse.

I realized that her hands were still in mine as she squeezed them. 

“What did you really mean?” She asked, now facing back up at me. 

‘She wanted it to mean more?’ I felt my heart skip a little at the thought as I was starting to explain. 

“I really meant that-”

“Severus, Miss Black could you come on up?” It was Minerva, standing at the top of the staircase. Frowning at us. 

I apologetically looked at Freesia. 

“Are you sure you can do this?” I asked, not wanting her to have another panic attack. 

She nodded, but she didn’t look that sure. I stood up first and helped her up. I looked up and Minerva had gone back into the office. 

“Are you sure you can do this?” Her soft voice sounded. I looked back at her, ‘was she really worried about me?’

I nodded, but I wasn’t that sure if I could. 

“Stay close.” I whispered as I started ascending the staircase, she nodded and followed me.


End file.
